Welding in Purgatory
/I didn't love welding the first time. I absolutely hated it. The smell of burned cut-off wheels and dust getting into damn near every orifice. The greasy coating on the steel put a constant grime on my hands and clothing. Looking back, I realized I hated it because of my failure to see the potential in the medium. There was too much focus on my current state of occupation, which was striving to be an independent business owner with a jewelry studio while stuck in an otherwise *good company with terrible bosses (see footnote).
One wanted me welding because I was a woman. The other didn't want me welding...because I was a woman.
How could anyone enjoy growth in a purgatory of 2 devils battling for my soul? Not even taking into account my own inner demons ready to lap up whatever shreds of confidence I could have. I had no angels here.
The first devil, a silver-tongued asshole on a pedestal of his own making, convincing me women just shouldn't be welding. The other, a disgruntled mentor, casting me into a room of steel and machines to work out the details of welding in solitude. Before the end of the year, my mentor left and I, oddly enough, felt even more alone. I hated welding until the day I got the hell out of there, which still left me eviscerated. By then I already had a building to start this new career and plenty of opportunities to rebuild myself.
One of those recent opportunities involved being an assistant teacher for welding at GRCC through the Metallica All Within My Hands Foundation. This is an intense class where we fully immerse students into MIG welding. Very little book work is involved and they all weld on day one.
The brief moments of my welding education came with a lot of disappointment and no time to really sort through it. I realize this as I study the diverse group of students in this program. All at different stages of life, income, background, etc. and fully submerged into 8 hours of welding a day for an entire week. This provides ample time to work through all the disappointments and failures that come with learning a new skill. It’s much easier to come back the next day when the moment you last put it down was one of resolution.
Looking back, I’m not sure what kept me moving forward. Maybe because my being there pissed off the white collars that feared a woman could bring such liability. Maybe because I do enjoy suffering through new experiences and skills. Maybe because deep down I really did see value in myself. More importantly, as much of an asshole as my mentor was, he saw value in me because he saw value in what he does as a welder. And I totally get that now…
Seeing these students reach that “A-Ha!” or “eureka” moment with welding sends a jolt to my heart. No cup of coffee can compare to the energy felt when one of these students gets it. I see it in their faces and their desire to just keep going. I try to relate welding to where they want to go. Some, just a hobby or side income. Others, a career filled with 6 figures and i’ll be damned if they don’t get there!
*Good on paper. Free coffee, beer, and a fresh bowl of fruit doesn't exactly boost morale when the same breed of men get a clear ride to the top. Only cream and bastards rise.
Session 1 Metallica Scholars!
